How to Have Plenty of Time as a Busy Woman with Darla Delayne

[00:00:00] Speaker A: The more you're doing only what you want to do, the more time you have. And our first thought usually is, yeah, but what about the second piece of this is that time can be stretched. It can be expanded, it can be traveled, so to speak, by awareness and focus, allowing things that seem, you know, kind of woo, woo, esoterical kind of stuff like synchronicities and cool coincidences and out of the blue and can you believe that happened? If you make that as your norm and start looking for it, you'll be shocked at how much it'll show up for you. [00:00:41] Speaker B: Welcome to the Society Gal podcast, where trailblazing female entrepreneurs and creatives come together to spark change and build their dreams. This is where your passion meets purpose. And together we're crafting a future where everyone has the tools to succeed. Hello and welcome to the Society Gal podcast. We are so excited to have Darla Delaine with us today on the podcast. We're going to have a great conversation about how to have plenty of time as a busy woman, as a mother, as a businesswoman, and how to make enough time, a lot of time, to do the things that you love. I'm so excited for everybody in our audience to hear from you, Darla. And let's start with your story. Let's start with how you got to this place, place where you are helping people make time for the most important things in their life. [00:01:35] Speaker A: Hi. Thank you so much for having me here. I feel like I've come home. I've been a part of Society Gal for many years and I'm just so happy to be here today. They're a big part of my story. I am the CEO and founder of she CEO where I work with powerhouse women on really getting skyrocketing, consistent growth without working harder. That all comes around to how do you do that? How. How do you continue to grow and not work harder and have plenty of time? It's been a journey of trips and misses and falling in holes in my life in these areas that have led me here. I've been in the business world in one way or another for 40 years now. Did you hear me go quiet? I do. I 40 years now. Whispering it. And it began. I was very young and out of college. I had been a teacher and I was like, nope, I don't want to be in that classroom. And so I started selling World Book Encyclopedia door to door. My mother was doing it and I started doing that. You talk about really hardcore sales, learning, hardcore marketing and those pieces. That's where it began. And what happened from that was I ended up recruiting a huge team and helping them grow their businesses. And that theme has been through it all and it's been from these things because it's like, how do we drive all over town not knowing where we're going, knocking on doors to try to get clients. All of the people on my team were very busy moms. A lot of them were teachers too and doing this part time. So that was some of the beginning of what I was helping them with. I then went into the mortgage world and became a mortgage loan officer. Then was in more of real estate. With that I was doing marketing and staging all kinds of things in there. And then also opened my own real estate brokerage where we hired only women, then helped them brand new in the business and helped them start to build their own personal brand within in our real estate brokerage. Really unheard of back in the day. It's still something I'm fighting to change now. But that helped me because it was so hard. Really hone in on those things that make someone's business unique to them. And so that was really awesome. And at that time I went through a medical emergency that ended up in a two year painful situation for myself. And I said, if I get out of here, I'm going to do what I always wanted to do, be an actress. And of course I had four kids at the time living in suburbs of Austin. Every thought I'd gone nuts and I was like, I don't care. So I did that and I became an actress. And then lo and behold, in the middle of that, my ex ended up getting a job in New York City. And so I went there and was able to do that. And then I began producing and directing. And then I helped people start their own production companies and making their projects unique and how to sell them. We left New York, My ex had left and we had nothing. And I had three teenagers at the time. I was forced to find time. It was either that or we were going to collapse. And I was not about to do that. When I say that for a powerhouse woman, those are you guys out there that nobody has to pull you off the couch to go do something like you're just going to do it and I was going to find a way. And that's when that all occurred. When that happened, we ended up going back to Texas. That's where I found life coaching. It was a new thing back then. And I was like, what is this? Online marketing? This is all awesome. My psychology degree, now I can use it somehow, you know. And so I got into doing that and found that I had been doing that in my business coaching and really began to meld those together at that point. That's when I was out in LA and got started with Society Gal then and I had an opportunity to work for a really huge corporate business coaching business for women. I was head of sales, head of their coaches and head of programs. Was such a great opportunity to see the difference in how we usually set up our businesses as solo entrepreneurs and how a corporation runs. I was privy to some of their growing pains from that because she had been a solopreneur and as she grew like what were we doing and how oh, we're really a company. And that brought a whole new level to what I was doing. The foundational parts of business I realized were missing for us when I left there. I had a desire to work with one on one clients in my way where I was able to kind of use the life coaching mindset, some spirituality in with that as well and really combine that with that business foundation that I found was was really missing. So I founded she CEO back in 2020. 2020. Remember everybody's going through little changes back then, right. I didn't think I was going to do that. I had planned on coaching real estate teams and then there was no real estate because Covid evidence. So it's like wasn't available for you. I'm going to go for the big dream here. So I that for the last five years now, four and a half years, I've just recently shifted a bit. I still do my one on one but I really have this big heart desire to help more women faster but let them have all the information they need. And so I've set up a membership of call it Fast track Business community and it's kind of a come in and stay when you want, hop out if you don't need it, stay all the time if you want to. But laser coaching where you can get in there and ask me a question and I will answer it for you. And miraculously it kind of answers questions for other people sometimes too. But there are pieces that are just uniquely you and so I love that part. I didn't want to let that go. But that foundational I have a course in there that gives you all those little pieces. My four children are all launched and on their own and so I'm feeling very proud about that and I'm navigating that new can I come see you thing and instead of go to your room which it used to be this story really shone a light for me in my life where had I had my own or more money at different times, I would have made different choices. I want to support women in being able to have that and make their own choices about what they want to do, but not let that be a reason that they. That they're not. So that's. That's kind of my story in a nutshell. There's all kinds of other little pieces to it. [00:08:12] Speaker B: I love to hear your story. I love to hear all your experience because you are experienced in so many different places. I loved how you said you went back to teaching people the foundation because you were able to see somebody scaled and how the foundational pieces affected them in that scaling stage and how important those foundational pieces are never good to skip over or miss and what make or make people scaling, you know, their business in a certain way. So it's really cool that you have that perspective to bring it back down to the people just starting. A lot of wisdom that we're able to hear from you, which we're gonna hear today. [00:08:49] Speaker A: But I love. [00:08:50] Speaker B: I just, like, want to point out how amazing it is to have that life experience and that you're truly helping people that way because you have seen all perspectives of business. [00:08:58] Speaker A: Right, Right. I appreciate you saying that. I'm owning it. There is a level of wisdom to it. Not that I wasn't kick a when I was in my 20s or 30s or 40s or 50s, but from my mid-60s. Now looking back and with the hundreds and probably thousands now of women that I've worked with, and seeing that thing, it's like, it doesn't matter whether you're just starting or you're scaling. Those foundational pieces not only need to be set up, but they have to be tweaked and sturdy. I end up working with women at all stages of their business. I'm noticing more when I'm out networking now. More women that are, yeah, I got what I asked for, and now my business is crumbling. I can't keep up with it. My first nugget here is if you are at the beginning stages and you do have a little extra time because you don't have a ton of clients, now's the time. Get in there and do that now. You are going to be so glad you did. It just makes all the difference in the world. [00:09:58] Speaker B: Yeah. And we're going to dig into this, but we were talking about how women in business is so new if we look back at history, Right? [00:10:05] Speaker A: Yes. [00:10:05] Speaker B: Women in business is very little babies in business. And you know, we've always, in the past, or even now, people or women treat their businesses as side hobbies, as side hustles, as something that's not serious, we need to take it more seriously because we take it for granted that it's just a hobby. We realize we can be a company with employees or contractors and lead a team. You know, we can scale, we can make impact that way and not just. We don't have to be in a solopreneur stage forever working our butts off. [00:10:34] Speaker A: That's super important. I'm so glad you brought that up because I have a client of mine that her, what she does is she kind of goes in and works like a fractional coo. So she does a lot of the operations and things for people. And she went into this really fairly decent sized business and said, where's your organizational chart? And I had just done a thing on this with my clients because none of them had done it. I really hadn't thought of it in this way. Even though I have it done, it wasn't the way I thought of it. As you start your business or wherever you are in your business, planning for when it's going to end, like how is this going to end? Because it will. One way or another, you're going to sell it. Do you want to sell it? Do you want to franchise it? What would be that dream and what's the organization of that business? When I did that, then I knew what my first hire was going to be. I, I had a big team and I let everybody go and started back all over with it this way and now have hired this one position for me that's the most important to take over what I'm doing. And I know what's next because I've got that together. But we don't. Who talks about that? Like we women space. [00:11:40] Speaker B: Right. We don't hear that conversation happening. [00:11:43] Speaker A: Unless you went to school for business. It's not something you would kind of know about. I, there's so many things in finance, there's just so many pieces of this that we don't know. So just at least getting those foundational pieces. We're not even doing that. That's like, oh, I'm going to live in this house, but I forgot to put floor in. You know, I'm just, I'm not going to do a wall over here and what a roof. I have to have that. I thought I could just sit over here under a tree. [00:12:09] Speaker B: So yes, we don't know any better. And today, let's dig in on this foundational piece. It's all one step at a time. We're talking about a lot of big stuff right now, but it's good to bring up in the conversation that it's possible and we should be taking it more seriously. I think the first thing we need to take more seriously is our time. [00:12:25] Speaker A: Absolutely. [00:12:25] Speaker B: How did you. In your story, you were talking about you were a mom with these kids and you're single momming it. You had to make money to support yourself and your family at that season of life and probably in different seasons as well. How did you stop feeling like that busyness and start having more time in your own experience? [00:12:44] Speaker A: What I found the biggest piece and this one did not logically make sense to me, but I tried it because nothing else had worked. The more you're doing only what you want to do, the more time you have. And our first thought usually is, yeah, but what about the second piece of this is that time can be stretched, it can be expanded, it can be traveled, so to speak, by awareness and focus, allowing things that seem, you know, kind of woo woo esoterical kind of stuff like synchronicities and coincidences and out of the blue and can you believe that happened? If you make that as your norm and start looking for it, you'll be shocked at how much it'll show up for you. Now something happens that's a synchronicity. Whoop, there's a bunch of time. Now something's a coincidence. Oh, I need this. And it shows up an app you're on of a sudden does that thing you wish it would do if you're not looking for will be there, but just kind of passing you by. So those two pieces are the two things that we start with only doing what you want and being aware that things you want to do could get done without you doing anything. Just start paying attention. [00:14:07] Speaker B: I love that. I mean, calling it in. I don't care what anybody says about any kind of you're not spiritual, I don't care. But it's what you focus on. You'll bring more of. [00:14:17] Speaker A: It's science and some people don't like science, but it is science, spiritual, whatever you want to look at it, you're. [00:14:23] Speaker B: Gonna find it somewhere. [00:14:24] Speaker A: Be your truth. That's right. [00:14:28] Speaker B: We talked about it earlier because you have kids, you had a single mom moment and I have five kids. And we were talking about how kids make you more organized. If you are really prioritizing Yourself and have dreams within you that you want to happen. You have to make only time for those things and nothing else. [00:14:45] Speaker A: That's an awesome point because I'm finding now, as I don't have four kids in my house, I'm not married, so it's me and nobody else is in my way. That pressure was helpful at that time to come up with this process because at this point, I could end up on the couch because there's no pressure. So much time that it ends up being a problem. Because now how do you organize? I'm so appreciative of that experience and what came from it because I use it now while. And so what I've done is fill that time with other things that I want to be doing. [00:15:27] Speaker B: Be super intentional. [00:15:28] Speaker A: Exactly. Point exactly. [00:15:30] Speaker B: Everything you're doing every hour of your day. [00:15:32] Speaker A: You're right. [00:15:33] Speaker B: It is super intentional. Yeah. Which I love. You said that because we're in very different seasons of life. A young mom, you've already had your kids, you have all this extra time. I feel like I have no time. [00:15:41] Speaker A: Oh, I know, hon. [00:15:42] Speaker B: You know, but I. But I mean, let's talk about, like, how, you know, how can we only you talk about. [00:15:49] Speaker A: Right. [00:15:49] Speaker B: The more you do what you want, the more time you're gonna have. So, like, how do we only do what we want? How are we gonna weed that other stuff out? Hey, this is Dana from Society Gal and I wanted to take a quick break to tell you about the Society Gal Academy, the exclusive membership that helps entrepreneurs like you launch, grow and scale your business. Join weekly expert led workshops, access to on demand courses, and connect with a supportive network of go getters just like you. Are you ready to elevate your business? Visit Society Gal Academy today. [00:16:21] Speaker A: This is my favorite question. And it's the same for everyone, but it looks differently for everyone. This is really about how it makes you feel when you're calm and content. That the way you move through your day and the tasks you do are very different than when you are irritated, frustrated, worried or mad. Right. You also know that if you are hopeful or optimistic, you move even different than calm and content. And if you're super happy and excited, you do different things than you do when you're calm and content. So this thing about how you feel, if you can use it as a data point for yourself, I like to think of it as an elevator. If ground level is calm and content, then the parking garage is. Anything below that, from boredom all the way down to helpless. Think of it as a nice condo Building and the first floor is that that calm and content, then hopeful, optimistic, happy, excited, all the way up to blissed out is the top or however further you can go. However you're feeling is like the doors opening on that floor and everything in there is connected to you and how you will do it that way. So if we're first thinking about how we're feeling before we take action, now we have some space. Even if they're screaming, I mean, go in your bathroom, shut the door and turn the water on. I spent a lot of time in my closet when my kids were young. I had a walk in closet, and so I would go in and shut it and scoot the dresser over and just get to the back of it so I could have a little space of time. And I realized, oh, if I can grab that space of time, it doesn't matter if they're crawling all over me or whatever. When I step out, I'm focused. Look at the task you're doing. Do you think this is a thinking thing? This is not a factual thing. It's a thinking thing that you need to do it, have to do it, supposed to do it, but you don't really want to do it. If you're doing those things, where are you? You're down in the parking garage. How you're doing it at that moment is not the best use of your time. If you don't want to do it, it's not going to get you to your goals. It's going to make things take longer and go slower. So the first two things you ask yourself is, do I want to do it? Do I not want to do it? If this is something I need to do and I say, well, I don't want to do it now you can go to the next section and make some choices about it, right? If you are like, I don't want to do it and I don't even want it done, does it need to be done? Why do I think that I have to have the towels put away today? Why does it have to be today? Does it? No. Would I maybe want it to be today? That's a different thing, right? Than it needs to be today. Now I'm going to maybe throw it in there in the middle when I'm skipping around listening to my music between doing something. But if I think I need to, oh, no, they're going to fold it and dump the basket over because you're there at that spot, right? All right. So do I want to? Do I? And if you say, I Don't even want this done. Somebody else was doing it. I look at things like social media pieces like, oh, I'm supposed to be on Pinterest, everybody's on Pinterest, or whatever. I'm here to tell you there is nothing in your business a way to market that you have to do it that way. You do have to market, but you don't have to do it that way. You don't even have to be on social media. Of course, it's way easier. And if you want to pick one that you like. Right. But don't just do them all because you think that's gonna grab at it and you don't even like it. I had to deal with reels. I'm awesome with video. I've been an actress. I love video, I love posting, I love everything about social. I've been on social media since 2011 promoting businesses. But reels, I don't know what the heck it was. And every quarter when I do my planning, I'd go, yes, I do want them done. I see the value. And so I went through these next three. So if you do want it done and you're still kind of at that spot where then here's your three choices. Number one, is there someone else that can do this for me? That's the first. The towels. I do want them done today. Oh, yes, my 17 year old son who's in his room playing video games. How about you get this one done because you need a clean towel tonight. It could be somebody else else. It could be that you, that you kind of partner with someone and she really likes to do one thing and you like the other and y' all just decide to switch those things. If you don't have any money, it's okay. You can still find people that you can barter with or sit at a collaborative table with and do things. If you're like, I want it done, I just don't want any part of it. Okay, the second one is, is there a different way? So I tried to have someone else do it. I did that first. That really didn't work for me because I realized I did want my hands in it. So that wasn't going to work. So the next one was do it a different way. If I want to be posting and I've been batching 30 days and that drives me crazy, maybe I just batch a week or maybe I do it daily when I get inspired. That's okay. You don't have to do it how everybody else is doing it. Try something different with it. Third and I had to do this with both of these is I flipped that need supposed to have to all that to a want. I started saying I want to do the such and such. Now I'm not in victimy mode. It's not an obligation or responsibility. I don't even believe in those because that feels gross to other people too. It's like it's a want. It's from my heart. I want it done. I want to do it. So here have someone else do it, do it a different way. But I've got to remember why I wanted to do it in the first place. I always use washing my face on this one. I saw Mary Kay too. They showed this video of things that crawl on your face at night that you're not aware of. And that did it for me. I had used Mary Kay since I was like 21 years old and I loved using it. But I'd wash in the morning and I didn't wash my face at night. And I had this director that was like washing at night. She sent me this video and I was like, oh, okay, now I want to do it. I could have said I need to because that junk's on my face. But I want to flip it to a want so that I will feel good to doing. Because remember it's back to how you feel. How am I going to feel? How am I going to take that action if I'm feeling calm and content or optimistic about it if I'm optimistic that now that my face is clean and it's going to feel better and it's healthier then doing it from that space, it's faster. I promise you. It's. I don't know what it is, I don't know how it works, but it's faster. So those are your three. After you decide you do want to either have someone else do it, do it a different way or refl frame or flip it to a want so that you are going in from a different space in that. And that's what I did. So I flipped it my reels to a want. I tried it a bunch of different ways and then I found one that I enjoyed. [00:23:38] Speaker B: I really love the message of the difference between want and a need. Yes, I think need, neediness, energy that like desperation. And you may not think about this but people can feel that in. Oh yeah, like when you show up in your words when you're talking, it will show up. The energy will come out of desperation or neediness. I've seen it. I've done it. And you attract those same people. [00:24:04] Speaker A: Well, think about. If you're talking about your business, you're like, oh, I have to go post, and someone knows you have a business. [00:24:10] Speaker B: I'm showing up because I have to do this. [00:24:12] Speaker A: No, because I want to share. It's so different. And the energy comes through social media with that. It affects your marketing, it affects your conversion. That's that piece between people knowing you and buying from you. It could be the very reason they're like, I like what she's saying. But something's kind of may not even know what it is. And it could be your thought that you need to sell. It could be anything with that. So just that little flip shifts the energy and how you feel, which to me is the most important thing. But it also affects all these other things, like time and getting the tasks done, having enough time to get them all done. [00:24:46] Speaker B: And I like that. This whole formula to think this through. And I like how you started out with space. Yes, to think it through. Like you need space to feel something. [00:24:56] Speaker A: You do. [00:24:57] Speaker B: And we're in the need. It's like hustle. And you just can't feel anything. You can't connect to yourself. And once you have space, you're able to connect again. Like, connect to your intuition. [00:25:08] Speaker A: For sure. You're talking about the difference between your head, which really, don't forget, never has an original thought. It's only what you've put in there and your perceptions of what you put in there, or your heart. And like you said, your intuition, right? Your inspiration, your creativity. You could, in that moment of space. Oh, my gosh, I forgot so and so said they wanted to do this. You know, just that space gives you time to go back to heart. To me, that's kind of this piece, and I talk a lot about this in my work, of the fact that really the feminine energy in each one of us is the leader. [00:25:42] Speaker B: I'm like, that's our power, like our superpower. [00:25:44] Speaker A: Yes, it is the leader. And the masculine energy is like the golden retriever that wants to. Or the lion, whichever way you want to look at him, in you, that wants to serve and support and protect and provide. No matter who or what you're identifying with, those masculine and feminine energies are in your relationships. Sometimes we're coming in with the masculine energy for someone, but we know we're leading them to what they want. That's why feminine's gotta lead in that space of inspiration and creativity. And you can't have it without a moment to unhook from what's going on in your head. [00:26:19] Speaker B: The big difference between men and women in business is men are leading with masculine energy and they're leading with that. You know, go, go, go, hustle, hustle. We have to take space and think and go in here instead of all up here. Because this is our superpower. That's how we make the best decisions. [00:26:35] Speaker A: And those decisions, you're giving yourself more time. Actually, it's faster to take the moment, give yourself that moment and let your heart and intuition and inspiration give you a way to do something than to do it the same way all the time, but more of it. And push, push, push. Our feminine bodies are not meant to handle that. That's just doesn't work for us. Like could work for a man. He can muscularly, even brain muscle push through more. We know we can hold more pain, more suffering. We don't need to prove it anymore. There's no need to prove it. You already had the capacity to hold huge emotion of stress. Let's just scoot that up the condo and hold that same capacity up at excited or thrilled or happy. Happy. Even that capacity for suffering, you've got the same capacity or more for happy. But we haven't practiced that. We haven't let that part go in. They're just not suffering while they're pushing through like that. They don't suffer with that. [00:27:46] Speaker B: It. We feel a lot more deep, deeply. That's for sure. Awesome. I love that. Breakdown of tasks. Now let's talk about goals. I know we all have our daily tasks right in the moment. What are we doing now? We should also have a bigger oversight of how those tasks are supporting our bigger goals. So like, how can we create goals that do feel good and keep us on track where we're also not, how do you say, like shaming ourself, guilting because we never make it type of goals. So how do we make ones that feel really good and achievable? [00:28:15] Speaker A: I'm going to jump and tell you a story about myself. I was completely failing at having enough time during that period of time when I was becoming a single mom, when things were falling apart, I was still dealing with him and then dealing with my kids, and they were completely relying on me. Things just went away. Part of my story is I was a planner addict. I would spend endless hours planning and somewhere inside of me when I did that, it felt done. And that's good. I kept that peace. I like thinking it's done. That's gonna brain hack for me a lot of what we're talking about today are brain hacks around this architecture we've made of our habits and things. And this kind of helped me. I was like, okay, let me keep that one. But the endless hours part was doing me no good. I was not moving forward on anything. I could have a big vision and then I'd plan it all out. And then because somewhere I thought it was done, I just did this other thing I needed to do instead and wasn't moving forward. I also, because I had been in so many businesses where I was on sales teams, even though I was an independent contractor, I thought I was like, that stuff just gets me going. I got stuck in the success of the goal. It took up so much of my head space, all the little Miss Perfects and all the people pleaser pieces and all that junk we find ourselves in. What I ended up doing was going in with this manufactured, massive action that wasn't inspired, but it was created from this space of getting something or comparing myself or competing. So I was working really hard, doing everything I could think of, but not with a nice clean headspace. Plus what others were telling me to do. I did everything they told me. I was so stressed and never had enough time. And when it did happen, when I did number one this month was Darla. That lasted that long. And then it was gone back to it. A little fun didn't even last through the whole happy hour. And there were like already going, okay, what's your goal for next time? And I'm like, oh, my God, let me take a break here, a break, breath and enjoy this piece. That was a piece of it. I'm like, I'm gonna keep a little of that. Celebrate. I want longer. I want this longer. This is not working. That piece of being right back to the hard and no joy in it. I was like, I'm done. So I flipped the way to goal set. This is going to keep you on track. It'll reframe what only felt good for a little bit and then makes you feel bad a lot got worse and it reframed it. So I'm using what we've just talked about here in the real way that feminine goals and vision and decision is made and still be able to get my stuff done. Because I'm not just in this nice flowy little shirt floating around all the time. I like to get things done. It feels good. I like feeling accomplished with that. So I developed my intention planning process or what I call a quantum leap intensive. Always meet your goals without working harder. So the first thing I had to do was change the definition of goals. Brain hack goal was something I said I want to do. And the goal is to get it done, not an outcome I hope will happen. Because remember, in all that planning and all that visioning, I thought it was done. That's helpful. So your first part is this very clear and certain vision with no limits. It's got to be one that you can't answer the question how that you can't spend hours planning it out, right? So that's. It was like, oh, if I do this, I still get this vision. I can play in and be in and be certain about and know what I want. That goes way out there and it sounds crazy to other people. And sometimes I don't share it with everybody because it's like, this is something for me. It's my vision. I'm the CEO. I'm responsible for this. As the owner of your business. This is your job job. So I did that. And then I have this sense of, oh, it's done, and I don't have to know how to do it because I can get in there and play in it. Now we're gonna go to that emotion. How do I feel when I think about this clear, certain vision I have? How does that make me feel? And I come up with a, where am I? On the elevator, right? Oh, I'm at ecstatic. So the ecstatic door opens and there's everything I just said I wanted. It's all there. If you're there as much as you can be where you created it, that's what the inspiration is going to come in and tell you. That's what the intuition is going to come in and tell you. Because that is what aligned means. It's what your heart wants and what source. All that is quantum God, all of it wants you to have. And so when you get back to that vibration, that emotion of how it feels, you're right back there. So if you ever want to know how, you just kind of get in there, okay? And let's say, what if you don't get the answer right that second? Doesn't that feel a lot better than worry? Like. Like I was like, if I spend this moment being ecstatic, that's better for my health, it's better for my kids, it's better for everything. So even if it didn't work, and I promise you it does, worst thing that would happen is I'm a happier individual, right? That's the worst thing that's going to happen. How did that vision make you feel that's that energetic reality you step back into. Now you start getting down to the brass tacks of the tasks that would be involved. If I want a podcast that has a million viewers and interviews world leaders or powerful women, if I want that, then what would I want to be doing right now? Now I may want to start developing it. Maybe I want to set the business pieces up for it. Maybe I want to think about the format of it. What do I do this week? This week I'm going to decide the format. I'm going to do some research on this. I'm going to go ahead and make a decision. I'm going to pick my colors. Now you've got these tasks related to your vision. And while you're working, you're feeling really good. You're probably thinking about something. And then through your feed, somebody goes, oh, did you know? Da, da, da. And you're like, like, oh, my God, that's what I just said. And you could do it. And it's. Or someone will run into you and go, I was just thinking about you. I. I think you'd be a good guest on my podcast. And you're like, oh, my gosh, I was just doing this. These things start happening. The synchronicity we talked about, the coincidences, the out of the blue things. And as you are saying, I want to get this done. And I have a whole way I do it where we kind of divide it out over time so that you've got a year planned. Quarter, week and day notice. I don't do month. I was a math teacher. There are not the same amount of days in every month. So I don't do this like that. So it's like when you've got that divided out, then my only goal is, and I keep these pretty minimum for the day, okay? I get these three things done. And if I got those three things done, I made my goals, I set made my goals. And what's happened, I'm moving along, right? By the end of the year, you will have done what you wanted to do. I call those now my strategic aims for the year, where I do have an outcome I want and a thing I want to get done around it. But daily I'm just focused on what I said I wanted to do because of this thing that's in my vision that is like, speaks to my heart that I know I really want to be doing. And that's the only actions I take if something comes up in my business. And I was like, ooh, I need to. Okay, I've got to correct my taxes. My person that did my taxes made a couple mistakes and I didn't catch them. I just caught them the other day and I'm like, oh, I need to correct. And I was like, no, no, no, no, no. I don't need to. I can pay that extra money. I don't really want to pay that extra money. So I want to correct my taxes. So they go on my list now. They're inspired. That's an inspired thing. I got a ticket. I had to do defensive driving. I did not have to do defensive driving. I can let my insurance go up. I can leave that on there. I don't have to do anything. But I want to do it because I really do want to only pay what I'm paying right now, and I don't want that to go up. So I flip that to a want, put it on my list of something that needed to get done and move some other things around instead of sabotaging with putting things off or looking at too big projects that seem overwhelming, dividing it down and only getting done these couple of things a day actually really do that for me. And this is what happens to my clients. [00:37:21] Speaker B: That's awesome. I love the breakdown. I love how you put a non pressure. [00:37:26] Speaker A: Yes. [00:37:26] Speaker B: On the goals. I think that's like a guarantee of failure almost is when you put such a high pressure on a goal, like, I have to get it by this date at this time. And when you lead with a bigger vision and a feeling when it comes to that vision, it's more of like, if I was there, who am I today? If I was there, what is. What am I doing? [00:37:46] Speaker A: If I said I really want that, then what am I working on? If I say I want this podcast, why am I not working on it? [00:37:52] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:37:54] Speaker A: I'm not even saying if someone could do it, what would that version of. [00:37:56] Speaker B: Myself be doing right now? [00:37:57] Speaker A: Exactly. What would I be doing if I had it, you know? Well, I would have created it. Right. Like, let's start there. [00:38:05] Speaker B: Are we reaching out to people or networking or, you know? [00:38:08] Speaker A: Exactly something. [00:38:09] Speaker B: It always breaks down to the day to day. We worry so much on the goals. It's really just your daily one to three things you need to do. [00:38:16] Speaker A: Yes. [00:38:16] Speaker B: And feel through it and enjoy it. I love that. The quick thing I want to say with my journey is I did the burnout thing, I did the hustle, the coaching and my other business. Two businesses, and they were making money. But I was was on one on one calls like, I don't know, 20amonth, maybe more. When I had three kids that are. [00:38:37] Speaker A: Really young. [00:38:40] Speaker B: And, you know, I thought that's what I had to do to be successful. And, you know, there's a fourth stop in my life that God was like, nope, you got calm down. And when I was able to step back and things like, almost like refreshed, like everything was new again, I was. [00:38:53] Speaker A: Like, oh, this is great. [00:38:54] Speaker B: I can start over, go slow and say, okay, there's my vision, but I'm going to go step by step and think it through and just feel it. If it doesn't happen today, it doesn't happen today. I don't need to rush anything. There's been more success than ever in my day to day because I created that success within myself, defined it. [00:39:12] Speaker A: We can make our dream become our own cage very quickly. And it. That's not the intention of the dream and it's not our intention. So it has to be something that's in this architecture of the brain and of what we're seeing. It's not in this nice aligned space, but we can do it very quickly. And then you think you can't. So in what you're saying, I love this. I've had four stops in my life. You know, it's like, that's it. So what I do now, I could stop now, Just stop and take a breath. Breath. Because I can feel the bars. I can feel myself locking myself in. I can feel when it's happening now because when you've had a forced stop and a forced change, you can recognize it, that you know what that looks like and what it feels like. And you can stop if you're starting to feel that way. You can stop anytime and, and take that for yourself. It will pay off. [00:40:12] Speaker B: If you don't stop or slow down, something will slow you down. [00:40:15] Speaker A: It's gonna happen one way or another. [00:40:17] Speaker B: Something's gonna stop you to make you pause. [00:40:20] Speaker A: I used to have migraines and they were severe. The ones where you had to have the dark lights and you were down for a day or two and that was what would happen. I didn't have but three of them the whole four years I was in college and I was having fun and being myself and not stressing over grades in college. And I still did really well, but it was a whole day. And then I got out. They started right back up again until about 20 years ago. That's when I had my own medical forced stop. [00:40:49] Speaker B: Yep. It's all interconnected. They're not Separate. [00:40:52] Speaker A: None of this is separate body. [00:40:53] Speaker B: It will show up in your body or your mind, but often your body. [00:40:57] Speaker A: It will show up in your relationships and then it shows up in your bank account and then it shows up like it shows up. [00:41:04] Speaker B: That's so true. Awesome. Tell it. Tell us a little bit about you. Explain the process of the tasks and the goals. So tell us about a client that you've worked with, where they've gone through this process and how they benefited from using this. [00:41:16] Speaker A: All of them have benefited in some ways, but I feel like Kim was one that was so glaring. She was already making really good money. She was a real estate agent making great money. But she was so miserable and was doing the 24. Oh, I'm a real estate. I'm 24. 7. She was doing it. She was doing things like sweeping out clients, garages on $3 million homes. Homes. If you've not been in this industry before, you cannot really understand the culture there that is so toxic. You're at the mercy of someone else. And I'm like, this is a business. The first thing I did was cut her to only thing she wanted to do and was legally required because she couldn't quite get around the want to on some of the legally requireds. So as a real estate agent, there are things she's legally required to do. And so we cut her to the oh my God, you would have thought I turned her skin inside out. It took a long time for her to get comfortable with that. We went through all of those pieces. Then I also had her follow this intention planning. The first time I asked her to tell me what her vision was. I am shocked at how many women cannot tell you their dreams. They just can't even verbalize that. They don't know that they even have permission to think that. So that was next. We had to come up with one and I just give her a little, well, do you want this? Do you want this? Well, I can have not what you can have. What would you want if you could have anything? If there were no rules or boundaries, you know, I had to keep. I mean, it was like pulling a vision out. But we got it. We did that. We stopped setting outcome goals, which is really hard because inside her brokerage they had them all on this big board. And so I was like, don't go in the office, don't go to any more meetings. You don't have to be there. Tell them you'll take the notes, but you've got to get away from it. And then we shifted to Just her goals being what she wanted to get done that week. That was still a lot of work. It was still plenty. Her first year with me, we've worked together for six years now five years now. Her first year she cut the amount of time she worked in half. So she was probably working 80 to 90, maybe even 100 hours a week. She cut it down to 40 and made the same amount of money. So I said, you just doubled the amount you paid yourself. And so now she's working a normal full time. The next year we cut more. We got down into the wants of the legally required why she wanted to do those. We just kept cutting and keep cutting. That next year she cut more time off. So I'm going to say she was probably at around 30 work hours. Oh, she started taking vacations and work while she was work. Like in the middle of the year, in the busy season like we. She kept it a secret at first because people were judging her. Isn't this insane? She more than tripled her income that year because now the momentum of what she was doing, she started feeling it. Yes, she was feeling better. Her vibration was. I'm getting chills talking about it now. It's just. And now we have even other things she wants to do. We're talking about, you know, she wants to be a brunch dj and we're like, yeah, let's go, let's do it. What a cool party for your clients that would be. But it's like now her visioning has opened up and she travels a lot and still does millions in business. We've got some people that can put those signs out. She doesn't have to do that now. I was like, look at how many people that you are supporting their dream of what they want to be doing. You know, it's like a mom that was needed some part time work badly. She put signs out on the weekend. She just didn't have any in the day. We refined what she was inspired to do and she only did those things. Her vision shifted more joy and if it wasn't bringing joy, then we shifted it and changed. We got more tight on that. That's not making me feel happy enough. It's like, that's happy but I want more. How could I do this or I'd feel even better and had moved around it. And it's very exciting now. She comes up with new stuff all the time and we get to figure out how it's going to get done. It's awesome. [00:45:43] Speaker B: She became a dreamer, which is amazing. Yes, like there's no room for dreams in what she was doing. [00:45:48] Speaker A: Don't you find when you talk to women a lot of times they're either they find they identify as one or the other and don't allow themselves to do both because she was type A worker or dreamer. And dreamers think that they can't work work or that means something if they go do something they really want to do. You know, it's like it's. There's a balance to each of us. Yes, there is a spectrum on each of these for all of us, but there's a balance for that for ourselves. And there's. It's. Sky's the limit out there. I just want to open everybody up to it and help them get it. [00:46:24] Speaker B: Wow. I love you sharing that real story and the stark contrast. We're all already successful in our life. There's already so much, much going for us and where we are now. And so I love to see her example. There's already so much happening in her life now. Just opening your arms to things that flow in now, like something that's free and moving and exciting. So I can feel that through the story, which is really amazing. [00:46:49] Speaker A: Oh, that's beautiful. I'm gonna share that with her. She'll love that. I love that. [00:46:53] Speaker B: Well, Darla, thank you so much for being on today and sharing this beautiful message with everybody. It was so amazing to have you on and just. Is there any last messages you want to send out to the audience before we get off? [00:47:04] Speaker A: I would like to challenge each of you to at least start noticing when you say you need to or have to do something and see if there's some way for you to kind of shift that. I do have that, that Quantum Leap Intensive is free for anyone that wants to learn how to do this, their goal setting this way. I have a link we can put with that as well. And for anyone that's actually heard me when I said that foundation of their business needs to be set up, I have a business community for that too. And I'm given a 40 day trial for society gal members. So I'll have that link for you guys to get in there. Do as much of the business course as you can, ask me as many questions, and then you can decide if that's for you or not after the 40 days. [00:47:49] Speaker B: I love that. Well, thank you so much for coming on today. I love talking to you. I could talk to you all day. Podcast episode. Again, thank you so, so much. [00:48:01] Speaker A: Absolutely. By.